one day, when death comes. will you regret?

whether to trust or not?

hahaha...its been yet a long long time since i pos...

was it purely sparing a thought for me?or just wor...

scary friday

that incident

too good to be true

a story

yesterday was monday. a brand new start of a week....

04 MARCH 08

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

January 2006

February 2006

April 2006

May 2006

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

March 2008

June 2008

April 2009

May 2009

July 2009

October 2009

November 2009

May 2010

credits

layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: ohhspontaneityy
stocks: _excentric_

ok.i dont know whats wrong.
never good with words.
limited vocabulary.
just felt that way which the title suggest,

i dont like to have regrets.
i HATE shows that shows how regretful one will be,
especially when death is the cause of separation.
cause that is something never reversible.

the feeling is terrible.



i been wanting to blog this entry since that day.
that day when it happen.
a thursday i remembered.
that feeling really sucks.
i really was....
stumbled should be the word to describe.

sandy called.
seemed to know that something BAD.
literally BAD was gonna happen.
although expecting it.
but didnt know what was really gonna happen.

therefore still stumbled upon the situation.
although expecting it.
was sad i should say.
more than angry.
didnt feel accused.

was just speechless
didnt know what to say.
seriously, SPEECHLESS.

it was definitely harsh
harsh words.
harsh tone.

i really didnt know how should i react.

hahaha...its been yet a long long time since i posted an entry....
like once again...always doing this once in a while...
hahaha...

just suddenly being random...
suddenly feel OLD...
like literally...
dont they always say...old people always like to reminisce the past?

hahaha...then i am definitely old mans....hahaha...
always like to reminisce the past...

was wondering around delta sports complex the day before...
suddenly all the memories of primary school days really came back...
those days where i would purposely walked the longer way home.
so that i can chat with my friends longer...

then as i walked past the field.the PE storeroom.the canteen.the pond area.
those days of such fond memories.
our laughter.
our sweat.
our fun.

hahaha...sounds dumb.
but i sure miss those days in KSPS.
hahaha...be it good or bad.
but they were definitely FUN. :)

hahaha...random jesslyn on the go again.
halfway through corporate accounting paper.
where everyone is supposed to be trying their utmost best to complete that paper.
i suddenly missed POLY life.
hahaha...the BIG group life.
maybe it is cause the grand hall in SIM looks like TP sports hall?

hahaha...but suddenly miss everyone.and those days.
those days of MAKING DECISIONS!
where to go?what to eat?what to do?
hahaha...those days at delphine house doing project!
LAGOON's dinner.

also, my other classmates.
hahaha..
my super no need to meet up project group.
abigail.layyi.
hahaha...
then
some sort awkward but.... group.
xueli yan shan irvin.

then meet the fun and daring people group.
sharon zhenli zhiwei angeline

hahahahahaha....to be able to talk about the good memories of school.
STC memories is one part never to be missed.hahaha
the 3 different MATHS teacher we had..
the endless "lectures" we had by various people.

that scene never seem to disappear.
CORLISS AND I "hi-5"-ing after MATHS REMEDIAL.
hahaha...

too many memories....
too many nice memories.... :)



was it purely sparing a thought for me?or just worried?heh?

today as usual
friday
off
accompanied her
picked him up

then suddenly
realized
stuck in an
awkward situation

COLD WAR

confused
helpless

then i think
after that
ok!
after some
drama
in the carpark

fetch him back
tot happy ending
went back
sleep
sleep
ZzzZZZzz

out for dinner
thai express
weird
awkward
situation

he mood swing
i think
she so tired

i don't know

sometimes ok
sometimes not ok

he speaks with an arrow
"i heard you like people to be straightforward"
that incident mentioned
by her
HUH?
confused
wad did I do now?
honestly
at that moment
i was rather pissed
SIANsss i would say

next:
SERIOUS QUESTION
what kinda of people i don't like the most?

HUH?
wad with the question?
i answered
i think
talk le
then dont do
or something like
talk one do one

he said:;distinction answer
HUH?
asked that question back
he replied
people that suck up
cause of fame
cause of money

people who talk one do one
i don't know

can't figured that motive
of the question

next
asked me whether
i wanted to drive not

... ... ... ... ...

ok!its a happy ending :)



that incident
the incident
honestly
it is one that
i don't want
don't wish
to recall

don't know
why the tears
just keep flowing
non-stop

no matter how
i want it to stop
it just couldn't

i felt stupid
and dumb
wasting my tears
on such incident

been trying to
figure the reason
why
everyone asked me
i really don't know

honestly no one
knew or seemed
to understand
how i felt

they probably
felt that
"what an ass
crying over nothing"

i really got no idea
WHY?
i seriously
want to know too

it just a feeling
a feeling that
i don't know
how to describe

i guess
it is a mixture
a combination
of factors

one
disappointment
two
tone
three
method of handling
or more?

i don't know
too sensitive
too stubborn
maybe?

i thought
i am doom
thought that
this incident
is gotta be
like so
awkward
to see them
again

actually
honestly
after that day
it REALLY wasn't
about not being
able to get the car

but
seems like
no one believe
for i didn't
had a valid
or say
acceptable
reason

i really don't know
what came over me

i guess
everyone will protect
themselves
and who they loved
MOST

for me
my friends
for her
him
maybe thats why
in her strong tone

i really don't wish
cause of this
i don't know
STUPID?? incident
spoiling our relationship
of so many years

not trying to be noble
but
this group of friends
are really an important
part of my current life

it is just not worth it.

i know
i tend to see things
very differently
from them

i really hope that
this difference
will not be
a factor
that spoils
our relationship.

but
really
i was upset
very very
upset

for now,
don't know how
seemed to
gain some sort
of enlightenment

hope it stay status quo
and really
don't wish
for anymore
major
minor
quarrels






the wrong i did...
was the dinner...
dinner was unnecesaary...

the wrong i did...
was to be too happy too fast...

the wrong i did...
was to believe it...

the wrong i did...
not have the ability to own one...

the wrong i did...
the wrong i did...
i dont know...
i really don't know...

once i heard...
woman are made out of water...
i guess i am one of them...

long long time ago,
there was two girls who
were the best of friends
later on unknowingly
one of them became
really good with someone else
the other one
felt left out
felt robbed
she became real jealous
she hated that someone else
to the extreme core
she didnt like this feeling

but after sometime
she realize
how dumb
how foolish
how ignorant
how childish
she was...

she never want to be like that again...
but...


yesterday was monday.
a brand new start of a week.
today is tuesday.
the second day of a new week,
it been long since i last posted.
laziness is my biggest problem.

wanted to left some sort of "evidence"
of my happy holiday trips.
redang & taipei
it was indeed an enjoyable holiday

redang.
at first,
a trip of uncertainty
in the end,
a trip of happiness

uncertain whether i could
enjoy myself throughly
not feel left out
feel comfortable

met them at golden mile at 930
went toilet and bought some stuff
from the mama shop there
where sharon "make fun" of the india auntie

board the coach
left around 1030
met an "china" auntie
who was on the same coach
on the way to redang herself
BRAVE!

crossed the customs
in the middle of the nite
not exactly empty
i dont know why
but i always the last one.
my passport just refused to be read,
ARGH!
eveyone is done waiting for me
STRESS!
" .... ..... ..... "

then at the malaysian side
something happen again.
i seriously didnt understand
what the guy was saying
although he might have repeated it
like maybe 5 times
then finally i managed to catch something
he felt that my passport photo
didnt look like me....
DOTS!
told me and written on my passport
CHANGE PHOTO
when i get back
ARGH!
to add on....
someone has to say
the photo is my sister
ARGH!

to be continued... ...



04 march 08
woke up pretty early
as compared to
wad time i slept
three plus am
woke up cause of cai
finished driving
needed to find some company
came my house
updated my cupboard
with her face
obviously
went out for lunch
great world food junction
mee pok dry for her
korean bbq for me
cai bought fruits
that was super sour
went to walk around to shop for
jonathan tay's pressie
walk and walk...
abit diffcult to buy
then to no avail
went arcade
played air hockey
so embarassing CAN!
didnt placed the "thing" nicely
before hitting
so it flew
and flew
and flew
for some distance
OOPS!*
hahahahaha.
then same incident
second time...
this time it didnt fly..
it hit cai finger
oops ooops
hahaha....
played basket ball
won her by 1 point
hahaha....
then drive initial d
lost
but she learning manual driving
good excuse heh?
then went work
phyllis told me no replacement
argh!!
then told them where i wanted to go
of course
sandy tried dis encouraging me
hahaha
but to no avail
hahaha...
but luckily they were nice
didnt react as bad as wad i tot would be
think hard think hard
how how how?
finally a saviour!
christine free to work!yeah!
saviour!
pack stock
serve customer
keyed stocks
on and on
then phyllis asked me to work an hour earlier today
then finally plucked up that courage
to tell her bout APRIL...
haix....feel so bad....
haix.....
then came home...
usual routine
watch show
see taiwan's map
hahaha...
talked to kailin
she actually called me!
hahaha...
but of course there was a main topic
ahem*ahem
then watch show
then sleep!
-end

hi!*

bold
italics
underlined
strikeout

********
i am jesslyn*
loves the stars.
honoured to be a virgo.
travelling around the world is the way of life for me now..


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